sigh

I don't know what I continue to put myself in these situations. I mean really. I'm fucking stupid. I'm so mad at myself. and I have been really on edge lately. Since I learned I may be bipolar... not definite until I go see the shrink, I've been analyzing my moods. And if I'm bipolar I have definitely been more manic lately. which in my hands is very very very dangerous. I just want to curl up and find a way to erase my memory from the minds of everyone I know... god I hate my head... and I hate the fact my mind is boycotting me.. I just want a vacation from my head and I want it to all go away.